It's My Prerogative...
Current Feeling: Depressed. Don't F*** With me...
This is a silly blog entry. Please do not comment on anything about this entry. I just need an outlet...
Sigh. WHy doesn't he get it? Why??!! Sometimes, I just want to tear my hair out.
Sometimes, it's good that da converses well with others, or what we might like to call, he has "ren yuan"...
But I don't like it when people get too close to him...especially the girls. It already makes me uncomfortable when he switched over to the sales department.. the nature of his job puts him inevitably in contact with a lot of people, and of course, a lot of women...not to mention the least.
Today was da's colleague's wedding. I feel happy for them. He got da to help be his "brother", part of the entourage to help him in the wedding and making sure that the wedding goes on smoothly... Well, of course, da, being da, will always be on the ball and making sure everything is done to the best of his abilities... That's one thing I love him for...
Then I was invited to the dinner... I went, of course. There, I finally got to meet most of da's colleagues, whom he has been telling me about all the time, and describing them to me. Finally I got to put faces to the names of these people...
During the dinner, we were sitting with his colleagues (duh...), and I realised that the people all loved da. He was apparently the "Mr Nice Guy a.k.a Mr. Gentleman, a.k.a Mr. COnsiderate, a.k.a. Mr Tender... blah blah blah..
Of course, I'm supposed to be glad that I have picked such a guy to marry. Do not have any doubts about it that I AM glad that he is my husband to be. I just don't like it that he seeems to be liked by so many people....By people, I actually mean "girls".
As a girl, I know that I would naturally like to talk to guys who are such gentle creatures, who take care of people, who would go all the way for me and stuff. Naturally, I would feel more inclined to be friends with such people. WHich is fine by me, btw.
What I don't like is the fact that some of the girls will get physical with da. At the end of the dinner, as I came out the toilet, I saw this colleague of his bid farewell to him, and then I saw her touch da in his tummy. I know it was a friednly gesture, but I can't get it out of my mind. And it disturbs me that da wasn't bothered by it. I don't want to know if things are worse when I'm not around.. and I don't want to know.
I know...I am petty.. I am...whatever. It's my prerogative. I have every right to be.
I don't like people touching him. I really can't imagine letting guys touch me..even thought it's juts for fun.
AND THE WORST THING IS, da doesn't get it. The whole way home, I was blatantly displeased, but it was a small issue, and I didn't want to bring it up. Anyway, it would be impossible to bring the cocnern across to da. He simply would not get it. He never understands what I'm angry or upset about. I asked him. "Very nice hor? Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Considerate".
Initially, he laughed it off, not udnerstanding the pain in my voice.
Then when he realised that I was visibly upset, he said "I don't understand what's so upsetting about it. SHouldn't you be happy that people are saying those things about me?"
I opened my mouth to try to get my point across, but ultimately give up. I knew that he wouldn't understand. He also would not see what's wrong with having his FEMALE colleague touch him; or rather. "punch" him when she said goodbye... He wouldn't. He would just call me oversensitive, as usual. He would then say cynical things like "So what you want me to do? next time tell them not to call me or talk to me is it?" And I know I would lose... coz I am always portrayed as the one in the wrong. No one understands the insecurities... and he doesn't try to allay the fears deep within me...
I give up. Guess I wouldjust wallow in self pity. I don't like it. And it's my prerogative to speak up.
*sob*. I'm crying, and he is snoring soundly in bed... whatever.
This is a silly blog entry. Please do not comment on anything about this entry. I just need an outlet...
Sigh. WHy doesn't he get it? Why??!! Sometimes, I just want to tear my hair out.
Sometimes, it's good that da converses well with others, or what we might like to call, he has "ren yuan"...
But I don't like it when people get too close to him...especially the girls. It already makes me uncomfortable when he switched over to the sales department.. the nature of his job puts him inevitably in contact with a lot of people, and of course, a lot of women...not to mention the least.
Today was da's colleague's wedding. I feel happy for them. He got da to help be his "brother", part of the entourage to help him in the wedding and making sure that the wedding goes on smoothly... Well, of course, da, being da, will always be on the ball and making sure everything is done to the best of his abilities... That's one thing I love him for...
Then I was invited to the dinner... I went, of course. There, I finally got to meet most of da's colleagues, whom he has been telling me about all the time, and describing them to me. Finally I got to put faces to the names of these people...
During the dinner, we were sitting with his colleagues (duh...), and I realised that the people all loved da. He was apparently the "Mr Nice Guy a.k.a Mr. Gentleman, a.k.a Mr. COnsiderate, a.k.a. Mr Tender... blah blah blah..
Of course, I'm supposed to be glad that I have picked such a guy to marry. Do not have any doubts about it that I AM glad that he is my husband to be. I just don't like it that he seeems to be liked by so many people....By people, I actually mean "girls".
As a girl, I know that I would naturally like to talk to guys who are such gentle creatures, who take care of people, who would go all the way for me and stuff. Naturally, I would feel more inclined to be friends with such people. WHich is fine by me, btw.
What I don't like is the fact that some of the girls will get physical with da. At the end of the dinner, as I came out the toilet, I saw this colleague of his bid farewell to him, and then I saw her touch da in his tummy. I know it was a friednly gesture, but I can't get it out of my mind. And it disturbs me that da wasn't bothered by it. I don't want to know if things are worse when I'm not around.. and I don't want to know.
I know...I am petty.. I am...whatever. It's my prerogative. I have every right to be.
I don't like people touching him. I really can't imagine letting guys touch me..even thought it's juts for fun.
AND THE WORST THING IS, da doesn't get it. The whole way home, I was blatantly displeased, but it was a small issue, and I didn't want to bring it up. Anyway, it would be impossible to bring the cocnern across to da. He simply would not get it. He never understands what I'm angry or upset about. I asked him. "Very nice hor? Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Considerate".
Initially, he laughed it off, not udnerstanding the pain in my voice.
Then when he realised that I was visibly upset, he said "I don't understand what's so upsetting about it. SHouldn't you be happy that people are saying those things about me?"
I opened my mouth to try to get my point across, but ultimately give up. I knew that he wouldn't understand. He also would not see what's wrong with having his FEMALE colleague touch him; or rather. "punch" him when she said goodbye... He wouldn't. He would just call me oversensitive, as usual. He would then say cynical things like "So what you want me to do? next time tell them not to call me or talk to me is it?" And I know I would lose... coz I am always portrayed as the one in the wrong. No one understands the insecurities... and he doesn't try to allay the fears deep within me...
I give up. Guess I wouldjust wallow in self pity. I don't like it. And it's my prerogative to speak up.
*sob*. I'm crying, and he is snoring soundly in bed... whatever.
"snugged" by snuggyhunnygoo at 12:37 AM
2 Comments:
Much as you dun need a comment. But Soowei Can't help commenting to comfort a friend.
Darling ah, he is yours. Not theirs. This is a fact. ;) Thats secured so be secure k?
hey babe,
i agree with soo wei. he's yours so don't get too upset ya... i know it's not easy and i feel the same way too when other gals get too close to my bf. but the fact that u 2 can still be together and be loving to each other does mean something.
-princessC-
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