Latest update...

Well, finally managed to get some free time for myself.. have not been able to breath for the whole of the past two weeks... somehow, I dunno if it's because I have been quite slack with myself, and have not been keeping up with work that were supposed to have been done, but the work seems to have been piling up, and never ending.

Before you can clear one item of stuff, another thing would come and then you are expected to complete it. Being a teacher, one must really be able to keep admin stuff very well. I for one know that I am not..haha..that's why people always say "wah, so kiasu ah? so fast finish doing already?" It's not that I am Kiasu. WHen something is given for us to do, and if I don't do it like immediately, then I would definitely forget to do it! Haha..

Anyway, all the complaining aside... PAT GOT PROMOTED! Hahahahahah....

During the last contact time, when the P was announcing and telling us about the promotion and how we would be graded according to the substantive grade, I was not even bothered to pay attention, because every single one of the people keep telling me that "No chance one lah. You are not a man, you can forget about getting a promotion until 3 years later at least. EVeryone who came in 3 years ago are only getting the first promotion this year". And so...time passed..

and then, two days ago, the P sent out an e-mail about the promotion list for this year. I didn't even bother looking at the mail...then the next thing I know, Cynthia whispered "Pss...you got promoted".

I was stupefied, shocked, dumbfounded...whatever words you use to describe shock beyond words. And the best thing was, no one who entered with me (two years ago) got it... Hmm..dunno to feel happy or not.. =)

Well, it's a good start, everyone says, but it's also the start of endless troubles. With this new substantive grade, people would also look at you in a "different light", as you are expected to perform beyond the current expectations... sheesh..dun even know how much increment I would be given. Haha..let's talk when the money comes in.. hee hee.. =)

For now, enjoy my promotion and start working doubly hard.

Patsie's new secret night life...

Haha..who would have thought, that at the age of 26, Pat would re-discover a new night life...her new secret identity...

Two weeks ago, da and I first started clubbing @ St James Power Station with my friend, Cheryl (well, actually my gym instructor-turned-pal)... It was all her fault. SHe started introducing us to it. The moment we went there, we discovered that it was actually quite fun! Although I didn't know how to dance, we still danced anyway, anyhow.. haha. It's actually quite a good exercise! =)

And so, last night, we went again, this time with more friends from Amore...

Here's Da waiting for Cheryl to arrive...

There were several clubs that made up St James, and we had to enter through Movida. Then, from there, we can access the different clubs. They all have different themes (e.g.: Movida plays more Latin music, Bellini is more jazz, Boiler Room is more hip-hop, Dragonfly is canto-pop....etc..)

This here is the entrance of Movida...
Us..
Here's the girls.. From left, Jacqueline, CV (I dunno how to spell her name..that's what we have been calling her...), Cheryl, me and Rina... =)
Hee hee.... ENjoy myself!! Can't wait to go again... =P

New Foodie Place

On Saturday night, da and I went with Kelvin and Mama for dinner at this restaurant. Pu Tien (Heng Hua) restaurant. This is actually a place in China, and they came to open this restaurant. The food that they serve there is actualy quite home-cooked flavour...unfortunately, spoiled by the fact that there were many ah-tiongs there...sigh..and it feels a little like we were there in China...

Kelvin and I

This beancurd is a must-try. Home-made beancurd that's very soft, and also tasty... =)

Lychee pork... it's a bit like the sweet sour pork, with lychee in it. QUite special... very tasty also..
This is the "seaweed" with peanuts.. but mama said that it's actually dried salted vegetables that has been deep fried... then she said that she will go to Bugis Street this weekend to get the salted vegetables and then she will also fry it...
This is deep fried pau with pork... something like that offered in Crystal Jade also. I think the one served there is nicer lah..
This is actually what most people who eat there must have. It's the Mee Sua cooked by the "Heng Hua" people...

My new baby...

Last night, while I was still bitching about my life and stuff, Da went out silently...

He simply sent me an SMS to tell me that he was going to pump petrol because there were no more..And because I was in such a foul mood, I didn't think twice to recall that the car was running on a full tank.

Then, at 10 plus, when he was still not home, I called him. He said that he was on the way back already...

I didn't wait up, because I was exhausted...from being angry..=(

Then at around 10.30, he came into the room, and in my state of grogginess, he said "wake up and charge it leh, if not tomorrow cannot use."

Everything was still a fuzz in my brain...until I suddenly processed the information and opened my eyes...That was when I saw this new baby lying beside me...

I widened my eyes in shock...Da said that it had already been planned...and that he planned for me to go home last night so that he could surprise me...

Needless to say, I am now having a mixed feeling of guilt and happiness...my brother had already reprimanded me on behalf of his BIL...

Thanks da.. I love yoU! =) once again, I'm sorry.. thanks for being ever so patient with me... =)

I need an outlet...don't bother reading this...

Seriously, some people are more apt at puttingtheir thoughts into words, while others are better at putting them through verbalising them. Some are just incapable of putting their thoughts into word. Period.

If the recipient of my thoughts cannot understand, then I guess I wil; need an outlet to vent all my frustrations, right?

What on earth am I blogging at this hour of the day on a SUNDAY? Well, I have no idea as well.. search me. Today, we went out for a family dinner with our families... at Dempsey Long Beah Restaurant (which, by the way, serves excellent food). By some weird system that they have, there are only fixed slots where you can go for dinner. Da thought that it would be too late if we took the 8+ slot, and so we took the 5.30 - 7.30 one.

Before that, he already reminded me to be home early to wait for him to finish soccer, and then we would go down earlier. He was the one who said not to be late for the dinner. Firstly, he came hme freaking late. At 4.30, he called to say that he was about to come home from where he played soccer. Well, and so I waited. (at the same time having to "entertain" my aunt who was at my place waiting for dinner. SHe kept complaining that there was nothing to do at my home, and blah blah blah....not that I am complaining...but if you know what I mean. Coming home from Jalan Bahar at 4.30 when a dinner at Dempsey Road at 5.30 is not exactly what I consider "earLY" by ANY definitions.

Was already in a super bad mood today because of something STUPID that happened last night. It was a long story, but it will suffice to say that I am upset...

Anwyay, after he came home from soccer, he had to bathe. Told me to get changed. And so I did. I thought that since we would finish dinner quite early, wanted to go to town to shop around a bit after dinner. I wanted to buy a new phone. The speaker inside my phone was damaged, and it would blast in my ear at times when I was making a call. (It's ok. Just let me go deaf. It'll work just fine).

I dressed up (well, not as casual as I normally would for dinners, but I wore a black dress anyways). I mopped the floor because it was dusty, and I thought that if I didn't get it done before going out, I would be to tired to do it when I got home after shopping.

Anwyay, for the whole day, he already didn't talk to me much. He apologized for what he did lst night, but if you ask me, it meant nothing at all. An apology that is insincere is not considered an apology...and then on my way back from working out, I called and told him that it was raining in Boon Lay area, and maybe it would be better not to go play soccer afterall. If you were wondering "SO did he heed your advice?" I only have one answer for you. Go to the top and start reading again. There are clues in the front...

Where was I? Oh yah...and so, he came home, of course not realising that I had already mopped the freaking floor...and then bathed and all, and to my disappointment, he was about to step out of the house in BERMUDAS! when his brother said that he should at least wear a pair of jeans. And so he did. I didn't even want to talk. He never listens to anything at all. Nothing I say anyway.

During dinner, he did not for once touch me, hold my hand, hug me, hold me, or anything affectionate. I might as well have been sitting beside a stranger. YOu know how much that hurts? Of course not. WHo would?

After dinner, I was hoping against hopes that he would just go to town... afterall, I did dress up, and I did mop the floor because I sincerely thought we were going out.

You see, he is the type of person who would NOT say "no, let's not go to town.. I have work to finish. Can I go home and finish my work?"

If he was, I would not have been so mad. He is the type of person who would say "ok." Then, when he was driving off, he would mumble "Actually I want to go home". AND EXPECT YOU TO FUCKING HEAR IT.

Which, of course, I did lah. And so, of course said 'Ok. Let's just go home". Fuck. What else could I have said?

Then, he is also the type of person who would drive halfway, and then say "I never said I didn't want to go what. We go now lah...". And I am the type of person who, once decided on something, will not change again. Shit. If it were you , would you still have the mood to shop? KNowing that if we were really in town, he would just be dragging his feet along, and grouchy and stuff? Would you enjoy it? I would rather reserve the right to grouch to me.

And, to cut the long story short, here I am at home now. Typing the blog, which I think sounds more like gibberish to many of you out there. There are just so many fucking things running through my head right now. SOmetimes, I see people around me so madly in love with one another, they almost know what the other person was thinking. I really wonder why we can't be like this. They are so in love with one another that they smile, and even blush when they think of one another. They hold each other in their arms, kiss when they think no one is looking, and hold one another's hands when they are simply walking. Truth be told, although i have been married only for less than 4 months, I feel as though I have been married for eternity. He doesn't hold my hands anymore, never hugs me anymore...Can this type of marriage be happy and blissful?

Why can't I? Is there something wrong with me? He never seems to understand my frustrations, and I never seem able to get my ideas and thoughts across to get him to understand. He would always say "can we talk?" And I fear that, because everytime we try to "talk", we would end up quarelling. Often times, quiet is the way to go.

I just want someone who loves me. Someone who not only loves me IN HIS HEART, but also able to show it. I am a person who needs affection shown to me all the time. I want a person who would hold my hands when we are walking, like as if he was afraid that if he let go of me, his world would crumble. I want someone who would hug me when we are just walking, like as if his life depended on me for support. I want someone who would kiss me when we were in our own home, like as if the world could end that very moment, as long as he was with me. And of course, if I say this to him, all I will get is:

" Then why can't you show it to me first?"
"Others are others. I am me. You cannot expect me to be like them."
"I love you what. I just don't show it".
"Different people have different ways of showing love to you"
"If I didn't love you, would I have bought the Gucci bag and wallet for you?"

So on and so forth...

I am a simple woman. I only want love. Is it THAT HARD? How can I even expect to begin a family with a man who cannot even understand what is it I want, afer so many years?
SOmetimes, I really understand why some people choose to stay single. I can fully understand.